I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I wish I only lived at night.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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