There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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