Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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