Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
