dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
