the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
