I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
