Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
