he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
