I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
