I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
