Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
