i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
