I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
