i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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