that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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