I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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