Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
