My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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