No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
