You're completely useless in the revolution.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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