So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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