well you can't waste a boner
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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