Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
