I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
