so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
