Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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