so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
