While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
