I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I CAN MOONWALK!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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