I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
