So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
