Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize