If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
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After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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