His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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