So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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