The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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