Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
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