Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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