I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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