Where did you get a picture of my penis
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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