so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
