In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
