Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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