Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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