I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
