A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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