we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Sober January is a disaster.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
