Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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