at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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