Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
How does one acquire holy water?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
