Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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