I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
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Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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