Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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