I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
