Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
love makes seman taste better
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
