i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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