Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
