btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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