He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
