I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
