watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
