New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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