I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
