so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So many bounce houses so little time
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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