Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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