the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
