Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
