that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
