I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
