Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
